Last night, after coming in from an extremely entertaining "Nightmare before Christmas: 3-D Special" at the El Capitan theater, in Hollywood, I found myself getting into bed with my ex-boyfriend, Hot Ryan. He was, if you remember, the subject of some earlier blogs concerning a certain Gay International competition in Palm Springs. That said, before he got into bed, he went to the bathroom. I was online, doing my usual online blogging, except about Gymnastics.
Five minutes later, as he's coming out, I smell this terrible odor.
"What the hell did you do in there? Perform an abortion?" I asked him.
"Hey, I told you I had to go." He responded. And, to his credit, he had been drinking a lot that weekend. We ALL know what happens when you drink for three days straight.........
BUD MUD!
In any event, as he crawled into bed, I realized that I hadn't heard him wash his hands.
"Did you, by the by, wash your hands after you were done?"
He stared at me blankly, obviously realizing that I had just caught him.
"I mean, I washed them with water."
I started gagging, telling him that before he got into my bed, he would have to wash his hands...with soap!
He did so, and quietly came back into bed.

Now, as an ex-boyfriend, now friend, I think it was very nice of me to share my bed. However, I draw the line when he is too lazy to wash his stanky ass hands before getting into bed. I know he came out pretty late, therefore, he was around the influence of dirty straight boys for a long time, but really young man...

To add insult to injury, I then walk into the bathroom to go pee before bed, and he had shut the window.
"Why the hell is the window closed." I again yelled.
"it was cold!!" he responded with his whiney voice.
If he weren't so cute, I'd actually have to get mad at him one of these days.

Still though, who doesn't wash their goddamned hands, really now.