So, last night was a very special night. Well, actually, that is a bold-faced lie. Two nights ago was very special night, I've just been extremely busy since then. In any event, a friend of mine invited me to a movie, and being the frugal old bastard I am, I said, "a free movie, count me in!"
Therefore, after swim practice, I washed all the chlorine off and headed over to Beverly HIlls to meet my friend. As him and I drove up to the theater, I noticed a very large red-carpet. Then, it hit me. This wasn't just a free ticket to see the hit new Paramount feature "Dreamgirls" this was actually the L.A. premiere! Let's just say it was a good thing I was wearing a sassy signature baby-blue shirt and a hip, studded white belt. As we parked, I noticed everyone there wearing dark suits, hip dark-rimmed glasses, hot blonde babes and other assorted accessories.
There was a line wrapped around the building and apparently that was just for will-call. Now, my friend is a rather powerful person in the industry and despite this, we were going to be forced to wait in line with the rest of the group. That was until we saw this high-powered publicist who literally swept us up and walked us in. Needless to say, there were Oscar winners waiting in that line even. I felt very fortunate.
As we're walking in the Wilshire theater I had my first "star" sighting of the evening. Well, if you can call it that. I saw academy award winning actress, Shirly McClaine. And though I love her acting, and crazy psychic rantings, her head is HUGE! She looked like a bulldog; I couldn't stop staring. Then I saw "Caberet" star Joel Grey. At this point, I'm thinking to myself, what is with all these old hollywood peeps. I want a clearly drunk Lindsay Lohan falling all around the red-carpet or shit, I'd even take Nicole Richie drunk driving into all the paparazzi! Now THAT would be a story to write home to.
Blah blah blah, when you go to a movie premiere, you get tons of free....popcorn. Is that all? I know, right. I was thinking, as I was walking in, this is going to be amazing, all the free concessions a girl could dream of. I imagined that when I walked in the concession counter would be open and they'd allow you to fill up those damned six dollar sodas as many times as you wanted. And nestle's BunchaCrunch? "Two please sir!"
They did have free wine, both white and red, which, I'll admit, was nice. So, I grabbed two and made my way around the lobby. As I slammed the wine down and reached for another, I saw someone, yes, it was the star I'd been looking for the whole time, none other than McSteamy and Doogie Howser M.D. star, Neil Patrick Harris. So, I immediately positioned my way over near them. I stood there trying to look cute, giving my best "Paris Hilton Hip" pose, attempting to elongate my upper trunk area.
Then, all of a sudden, Doogie looks at me and says, "Hey Tyler. You crack me up!" I just about died! Doogie knows me! Then, it gets better...McSteamy, who had been talking to Doogie says, mind you in a deep, husky, Mcsteamy voice, "You are pretty funny." I melted right there! We all talked for a bit and they were great, very gracious, etc.
Here is where the real fun started. My friend and I took our seats and all around us were really big stars. I felt extremely lucky to be there. Just as I was getting comfortable, guess who sits down next to me...Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. For those of you who are not in the know, Jennifer Hudson (who will win an oscar for this) was in American Idol season three.
I attempted to play coy with Paula, but my excitement simply could not be bridled. My friend knew Paula from a project they'd worked on years ago and were chatting. I turned to Paula and said,
"Paula, I'm sure you don't recognize me, but I was in the Mighty Ducks as a child, and you were beyond kind to all of us on the set. Thank you so much for being so kind."
Paula was pleased as punch. She grabbed my hand, rather awkwardly in fact, and slurred some words. Painkillers and cheap white wine result in one-messed up pop-princess. Regardless, her and Randy were hilarious, cute and very nice. Though, I will add, Paula did try and pawn her stylist off on me.
"Tyler, he's really cute isn't he. Well, let me tell you, he's an EXCELLENT stylist. Best in the business."
I thought to myself, well, thanks Paula, but I'm not really hunting for one these days. I don't have millions of dollars to throw around. But, the probably the best part of the night was not even watching the movie, but watching Paula chow down on her pop-corn. She didn't even stop to inhale. Just went to town! Even better was when Jennifer Hudson hit the screen. While everyone else in the room cheered, Paula sort of babbled something to herself, dropped some popcorn and raised her fist in the air. I'm still not sure what it all meant, however, I just about died laughing.
Immediately before the movie started, the big movie stars started pouring in. As Jaime Foxx and his entourage meandered through the people in the aisles, he stopped and walked over to my friend and I. Apparently, my friend and him are friends. Ahhhhh Jaime Foxx! I stood up to shake his hand, and was surprised that I was actually taller than him. Not that I necessarily deserve an award for it, but, still, its always fun to compare yourself to a movie star in height. Next on the list, Tom Cruise.
All in all the night was incredible. I'd never been to a premiere like this and, I'm not sure if I'll ever go to another one. Regardless of all the celebrities, it was incredible watching a movie like Dreamgirls with such an enthusiastic crowd. Its my personal belief that black people are more fun to watch movies with. Afro-Carribean American culture celebrates song and dance much more than white people. Additionally, they see entertainment as an interactive experience.
For instance, when I see a horror movie, I'll always go to this specific theater in Boston where there is a large black population. If the female lead in the movie walks into an obviously dangerous house, members of the audience will often yell, "Dumb bitch! Wa'tch you think'in girl. He's gonna murder yo' ass!"
And you know what, the audience is right! Now, if I'm going to sit and watch The Constant Gardener, I'll see it at a stuffy art-house theater. However, this was Dreamgirls, I wanted the audience participation. Four standing ovations later, and a nice buzz, we left the movie. What did I think of it? Well, see it for yourself is all I have to say. OUTSTANDING!
All in all, it was a good night. Popped pills with Paula, traded war stories with Doogie and McSteamy and got tipsy for free. Now, I think I'm ready for my close up Mr. Demille.

As always, your sister in Kwan,
Tyler